Gambling My Freedom Away
by Simply Kim
Summary: I detest gambling houses. So what am I doing in this helluva place, and sitting across a professional gambler as if I’m a pro myself? Simple. It's called REVENGE.
1. Prologue: Hating A Winning Hand

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Prologue**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

PROLOGUE: HATING A WINNING HAND 

Did I ever tell you that I hate this city?

            I didn't? Well, now you know. 

            Reasons? Hmm. I actually have two very plausible reasons why just /thinking/ about this place makes me want to hurl.

            First, every single nook and cranny reminds me of things I should've rather kept buried in the recesses of my soul... things that gave much pain – much sorrow. Even with the constant bout of laughter issuing around me, I cannot seem to crack even a slight smile of my own... brings back too many achingly worthy memories...

            A particular smile that brought light into dreary nights...

            A comforting hand that took all the pain away...

            A strong voice filled with much passion that it literally took one's breath away...

            Memories of what I once had – never to have again...

            Oh, and the other reason why I hate this place?

            I detest gambling houses.

            It must've been just a spark of mishap in my part that triggered my penchant for hating a rowdy and robust place filled to the brim with salivating gangsters who did nothing but ogle the scantily clad working girls, who, in turn, did nothing but ogle the thugs with equal fervor to spot potential customers... An indecent place housing the finest array of card dealers and slot machines known to man, luring poor sods into its sinful lair with a strong effect that resembles a candy's to a child.

            The card dealers – cheating bastards.

            Their mere act of shuffling a fresh deck gives me the creeps. 

            Weird as it may seem, I'm probably the only one alive who hates seeing these legal criminals in action. I want to bonk them on the head as they artfully shuffle and give out a hand... a hand that would render another compulsive slob penniless.

            So what am I doing in this helluva place, and sitting across a professional gambler as if I'm a pro myself?

            Simple.

            It's called revenge.

* * * * * * * *

TBC 

* * * * * * * *

A/N: Hi guys, it's me again! ^______^ Got another fic idea and tried my hand on it... so, here's the result. Tell me if it's interesting enough okay? Thanks a lot! Reviews everyone! 


	2. Chapter 1: Masquerading

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **One**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

CHAPTER 1: MASQUERADING

            Here he was, standing in front of the very same building that took his family's life. Well, not exactly his family's life... more like livelihood, still, it took out the hope every member had that they would revive from the slump they underwent for the past few years.

            It was no secret to everyone that subsequent to the Asian Financial Crisis that hit a few years back; Kamikaze Estates Inc. began experiencing its downfall. Losses were incurred, leaving them down to nothing but a liquidated business and a compulsive gambler who was his father.

            The gambling problem started after his otousan won a card game against idiotic businessmen, giving him enough money to return home and use for the family's needs. Then, the idea that he could win so much more burned into his mind, making him lust for the thought of incurring more cash to prevent his company from liquidating. 

            At first, he was successful. He found a real knack in playing blackjack and was considered almost unbeatable...

            **Or so they, including him, perceived he was.**

            This claim was disproved when he played against the owner of gambling parlor he was acing in.

            **First**, he lost **half** of his winnings, **_then_**, the **half of the other half**, and **_then_**, on the third day, **the winnings were spent off**, leaving the family with nothing but a bunch of boiled potatoes for dinner.

            The worst thing was, he was playing with a man in his _late twenties_.

            **Pure humiliation.**

            Without money, without dignity, without success, and without any source of livelihood, he decided to take a break – for good. Less than a week after, he was comfortably laid in an oaken casket, eyes closed forever to the world. 

            **And that was only the beginning.**

            His mother got sick, and being the only one old enough to work without being dragged off to some "home for abused children", he worked as a waiter in one of the posh places in his area. That job, however, was short-lived when his mother decided to join his father up in heaven. She died of cancer.

            Just when he thought things were not going to slide down further, his sister managed to make herself sick. It wasn't the usual sickness that constitute the symptoms of a flu... it was morning sickness.

            His sister was pregnant.

            **His precious younger sister, Aya-chan, was pregnant**.

            Turned out, she sold herself when he was out in his night jobs as a waiter, offering her pale young body to men who lusted after youthful meat. She did not have enough sense in her head to get some protection. She got herself pregnant. 

            **She did not know who the father was.**

            Tears stung his eyes as he remembered the suffering face of his sister as she had a miscarriage in her fourth month. He closed his eyes, trying to get the vision away from his mind, however it did not vanish. It stayed, mocking him, telling him that he was so idiotic as to just stand there and do nothing but stare at her while she cried out in sorrow and defeat. She wanted the child too, and he knew that. Even without the knowledge of who knocked her up, she insisted on keeping the kid growing inside her. He thought it was probably an anchor to her sanity... and he was right.

            She was sent to the local mental institution three days after her miscarriage. 

            **And he hadn't seen her since.**

            Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at the huge sign that glowed bright in the night... the neon sign making ribbons of hatred course through him with unprecedented ease. 

**He hated this city. **

**He hated this place.**

**He detested gambling houses.**

Taking a deep breath to somehow alleviate the fury that ran deep into his veins, he stepped forward.

**There was no turning back.**

* * *

            _Calm... stay calm. _ He thought, his features contorting into one of distaste as a meaty hand groped his ass for the second time that night – in just a span of five minutes. He knew it was not the bartender, since he was left with an aching arm after he whacked the perverted fingers as he felt the violating intrusion into the crack of his bottom. _No use in killing this guy off... I have to damage only one person... only one..._

            He quickly turned and gave the drunken man a menacing glare, effectively making the latter whimper in surprise and in the promise of a slow painful death in those glittering slitted eyes.

            Breathing a sigh of relief, he continued his search for the person he was looking for. One of the serving girls told me that he was in a private booth, dressed impeccably in a white collared shirt and playing with another gentleman.

            _Another victim_.  He thought with disdain. He was assaulted by a vision of an oily man in his early thirties, smoking a thing cylinder of cigar, and fanning out a full house while his opponent groaned in defeat. He must look like that for all the inconsiderate effort the guy put in bankrupting his family. The guy sure would be really ugly.

            He finally saw the lone private booth, and sauntered forward carelessly as if he owned the world. His acting was perfect, he knew, since he even convinced his best friend, the German merchant who calls himself Schuldig. He almost stuck out his tongue in disgust as he remembered the groping he received as he perfected his act. He vowed never to do it in front of the hormone-happy fiend. 

The minute he stood in front of the gaming table, he vowed to kill the serving girl he had asked for directions. 

**Both men were wearing white collared shirts.**

            Groaning inwardly, he cleared his throat, hoping to get the attention of the two battling it out in a game of poker. He succeeded in making one look at him.

            Unfortunately, that person went back to looking at his cards after two seconds of surveillance.

            He felt a blush spreading on his cheeks as he was ignored. He felt like hitting the pig! 

            **_Pig?_**

            He immediately scrutinized the one who glanced at him. Sure enough, the man fit into the features he had conjured up in his mind for so long. He was an oily man who looked as if he's in his early thirties and was smoking a thick cylinder of cigar. 

            **_Coincidence?_**

            He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat again.

            At that, the one he was surveying a while ago looked back at him with irritation evident in his beady eyes. 

            "What do you want? You're bothering me!"

            Surprised at the sudden outburst, he stared in disbelief that such person could be so rude... he was obviously disoriented. It took him a few seconds before he could compose himself. He was so sure that it was the owner of the lot so he squared his shoulders and gave him his meanest glare. He knew it would work, since it had worked a million times before. 

            **_And it did._**

            He was just very much surprised when the man whimpered and scooted back, his hand trying to locate something in his coat pocket. 

            It made him angrier when the man did that.

            How could an inconsiderate person shy away from a mere deadly glare?

            Fueled with this fact, his anger rose to a crescendo, making his act more brash – arrogant. Practiced act forgotten, he glared some more. "Oi, you are the owner of this place, aren't you, old man? I challenge you to game of cards. Whoever wins gets to name his prize."

            The look of utter confusion in his opponent's eyes was what spurred his mind to action... however, before he could even think of the reasons why, a deep, calm voice issued out on his other side. 

            His breath caught and he shifted his eyes in surprise as he realized his mistake.

            His eyes were caught in an intricate web of fervor meshed into intense golden browns. 

            "I believe you've got the **wrong** person... I am the owner of this place. I'm Bradley Crawford."

            He knew he was gaping like an idiot, but he couldn't help it... it was just so... shocking.

            An amused smile.

            "**I've been expecting you...** **Fujimiya Ran**."

* * *

            Crawford wanted to laugh out loud, but he knew it would further anger the dumbfounded man standing in front of him. 

            _So... this is Fujimiya Soichiro's eldest child._

            Funny, he **doesn't** look a thing like him.

            He watched in amusement as an assortment of emotions flashed in the boy's eyes. 

            **The boy's beautiful, purple eyes...**

            The chandelier lights played on the boy's fiery red hair, giving it a picture of a raging inferno in a dark starless night. 

            **_Beautiful... so very beautiful..._**

            He must admit that he was mistaken when he first saw the boy. He cast a small glance at the corner of his eye the first time Fujimiya made himself known. He thought he's a girl underneath his casual clothes. However, with the boy's way of holding himself up, and that unquestionably melodious voice, he was disproved.

            His amusement escalated at the way his gambling opponent shriveled under the **_Fujimiya Death Glare_**.

            _Ah, that's the **common** thing father and son shared._

            The infamous **_Fujimiya Death Glare_**.

            He shook his head, trying to control the mirth bubbling up his throat, as the boy was momentarily shocked. 

He had finally raised his eyes and relieved his opponent of the frightening stare before he had a heart attack. Doctors are highly priced these days. He did not need extra expenditure in his account books. 

            "I believe you've got the wrong person... I'm the owner of this place. I'm Bradley Crawford."

            No reply.

            "I've been expecting you... Fujimiya Ran."

            Giving the boy a through look, Crawford smiled quite condescendingly.

            "You seem surprised."

            "I – I was not aware that you're this young..."

            He laughed at that, standing up next to the boy, noting that he was taller and bulkier in built than him. After all, the boy was almost as thin as a scarecrow. He wondered if he could span that waist with two hands... "Hey now, I'm not that old... I'm only thirty two, you know." He turned his back on him and gave his assistance to his former gambling opponent. 

            "Ah, Mr. Aoi, I'm really sorry for this intrusion... I forgot my appointments; your skills are very distracting. Do come back, perhaps tomorrow so that we could continue this again."

            The heavyset man nodded, casting a wary parting look at the young Fujimiya. 

"Aa, I 'm going to return tomorrow, same time Crawford-san."

With that, he set off.

            "Another one of your victims?" The redheaded boy spat scathingly. "Another toy to play with for your benefit?"

            He went back to his seat and looked up at the furious features. 

            "Actually, yes." He admitted, discarding the used cards into the bin and opening up a fresh deck. "Who am I to refuse, he wanted to gamble." He raised an eyebrow, his hand gesturing towards the recently vacated seat across him. "Do sit down. You said you wanted to challenge me, right?"

            The boy nodded his acquiesce. 

            "Okay, whoever wins the hand names his prize – whatever it could be, no boundaries... am I correct?"

            He nodded.

            "So, you cut and shuffle the cards and then distribute. What game are we playing again?"

            "Blackjack."

            "Ah, the simple gambler's game. Okay then, first to twenty one."

            Another nod.

            And the game began.

* * *

            Ran turned up his cards, and almost sighed with relief as he encountered an ace and a ten.

            No one can compete with that. He already had twenty points.

            "Taking any card?" Crawford asked calmly.

            "No."

            He saw the other take a card and place it face up in front of him. A three of spades. Low card. 

Figures.

            The other repeated the act thrice, and placed them all face up in front of him. 

            _A five, a six and an eight... What are his cards? How come he keeps on taking a card? It must be so bad a hand that he keeps searching for one who could complete a twenty-one..._

            The thought gave him a delicious thrill.

            **He would finally get his revenge!**

            After **weeks **of hard work in perfecting this game for a sure win – he finally **succeeded**!

            He was startled out of his reverie when his opponent gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm finished, you show your hand first"

            Ran narrowed his eyes. "No, you show it first."

            "Ah, not entirely trusting." Crawford quipped. "Okay, we'll show them at the same time, agreed?"

            Ran nodded almost stoically.

            "Okay, one, two, three."

            Silence...

            Then tears slid down Ran's shocked eyes.

* * *

TBC

* * *

A/N: Oooh, not many reviewed the first part *sniffs* But it's not wrong to say that maybe this one would get more, ne? ^___^ I hope so! Well, this is it guys, reviews reviews! ^____^


	3. Chapter 2: Losing Myself

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Two**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

CHAPTER 2: LOSING MYSELF 

            Youji was trying not to spook himself as he rested in his rocking chair in the veranda. He had just watched a horror flick with his brother, Omi, and wasn't quite ready to admit that he peed in his pants the moment the lady monster popped out from under the blankets she and the protagonist had shared for a steamy night. The thought of that happening in his past conquests in a middle of a hot fucking session gave him chills – right to the marrow of his blessed bones. 

            He got up, his mind again on overdrive, and was about to step inside his room when he heard something slithering in the gardens a story below. 

            A shiver went up his spine.

            **_What in seven hells was that? _**

            Slowly, he peered over the veranda's protective blocks, trying to gauge the size of whatever it was that was making the disturbing noise. He had to make sure what it was before he suffers from lack of sleep after hallucinating about flying spirits _(just like in the movie)_ shrieking their woes around him. Then, without warning, a pale face shot out from the bushes, a bleary defeated look aimed directly at him. 

            "EEYAGH!" He shrieked, sounding much like a frightened little girl. He ran around in circles the minute he shut the glass doors of his room behind him. The fact that the doors were made of glass did not do well in comforting him. He panicked, his eyes trying not to linger at the darkness visible beyond the veranda. His shrieks made Omi, who was in the other side of the hallway, race toward his room in alarm.

            "Youji-niichan!" He exclaimed, taking in the disheveled and shaking figure of his older brother. "What happened? Are you alright?"

            Youji could not speak. Shaking like a leaf, he pointed to where he saw what he presumed was a monster.

            Frowning, he carefully moved towards the window and peeked, his blue eyes trying to make out the vision that contributed to his brother's horrified face.

            He blinked.

            And blinked again.

            "Ah, niichan?" He gazed perplexedly back at the terror-stricken Youji. "It's Ran-kun"

            Youji's eyes widened, then, he let out an agonized wail that rivaled the clash of an overpowering thunder. **"NOOOOOOO! Ran's DEAD!"**

* * * 

            "I'm going to kill you Youji..." Schuldig grumbled as he held an ice pack on his forehead. "I'm **SO** going to kill you..."

            "Really Youji-niichan, you're a grown guy and you still believe in ghosts more than I do!" Omi piped up, tucking his brother safely to bed. "I knew I shouldn't have let you watch the movie with me."

            "I'm not afraid of ghosts!" The older blonde protested, clawing at the blanket being tucked under his chin.

            "Yeah, tell that to someone who didn't see the trick you pulled a while ago." Schuldig retorted, throwing him a pillow in irritation. "You scared the shit out of my fuck-buddy."

            "Oi, watch your words, we have a minor here." Youji glared at him. "And, for the second time, I'm **NOT** afraid of ghosts!"

            "Oh, my poor ears..." Omi whined in mock vulnerability. "My poor, innocent ears..."

            "See what you did?" Youji growled, giving Schuldig a mean stare. "Leave the sexual things outta the conversation when he's around! What are you doing here anyway? With your... your... your **PARTNER** no less! **You're desecrating our home**!"

            "Oi, you're the one who told me that I could crash here for a few days, or at least after my house's repainted again!" The German glared back at him, ice pack still pressed on his forehead. "If you weren't such a scaredy-cat you would remember that!"

            "Hoo-boy." Omi whistled as he pushed Youji down on the bed again. "Will the two of you please stop arguing? Ran-kun's with us!"

            He was not paid any attention.

            "**I'm not a scaredy-cat!**" Youji yelled, sitting up in a sudden motion.

            "**You are a scaredy-cat!**" Schuldig yelled back, the ice pack finally falling down on the carpeted floors with an unceremonious thud.

            "**I'm not!**"

            "**Are too!**"

            "**Not!**"

            "**Too!**"

            Ran groaned, burying his face on his arms that were folded on the back of the chair he was straddling. "I'm going to die and the two of you are arguing on who's the **scaredy-_fat_**!"

            "**Scaredy-CAT**." Youji shifted his evil glare at him.

            "Cat, fat, whatever!" Ran let out his breath in a loud whoosh as he slumped further. "I'm gonna die!"

            "Gomen ne, Ran-kun." Omi conceded, casting a warning glance at the two who were about to start their fight again. "What happened to you? How did the game go?"

            Ran's face was the perfect picture of defeat. Youji felt icy shivers up his spine. He hated it when people look at others like that.

            "I lost." The redhead moaned, burying his face deeper until his nose was squished on the wooden surface of the chair's back. 

"What?" Youji cried out in disbelief. He could not believe what he was hearing. How could Ran lose? He was adept in playing cards! Hell, he even won over him, the 'Master Gambler' a few times when they were practicing months before! Maybe he wasn't such a good gambling teacher after all... "Crawford-san beat you in a game of **_CARDS_**?"

"Yes." Came the muffled answer. 

"Why did you let that happen?" Schuldig finally found his voice. It was the first time that he had known anyone, under the tutelage of Kudou Youji, fail in winning a game of cards. It was impossible! Maybe the bastard cheated! _Maybe..._

"Schu-kun, stop that, it wasn't his fault..." Omi chastised gently, minding the depressing stance of his friend. His eyes shifted towards his brother, and widened visibly in alarm as he saw the tall blonde slump down on his bed, his hands gripping the pale green silken sheets. "Youji-niichan, daijoubu?" 

Sweat marred the older blonde's brow, his wavy hair falling down his face. His eyes were half-closed. The toll of the fright he had before, coupled with the rise in blood pressure after quarreling with Schuldig as well as the news of Ran's loss wore him down. His heart was aching. It hurt like hell... "Water, onegai..."

"Wait here, I'll get it!" Schuldig ran with impressive speed. In a span of three minutes, he had the water up in Youji's room. 

"Here... Yotan, sorry about earlier... I didn't mean to..." He apologized, concern marring his usual smirking features.

The blonde smiled after drinking the water given him. "It's alright. It made me feel alive when I'm quarrelling with someone else other than Omi."

"Hey!" Omi protested indignantly. "What do you mean by that?"

Youji let out a choked laugh. His chest pains were finally easing up. He took a deep breath and gave the German a wan grin. "I'm fine Schu, no need to worry... come to think of it... I never knew you cared." The teasing glint was once again in his emerald eyes. It was probably that glimmer that convinced Schuldig that Youji was indeed alright. 

He smiled back; his tensed muscled finally relaxing. "Good."

Ran, who was watching the whole exchange along with Omi. He got up from his seat and plopped down on the edge of Youji's bed. He looked at the others and smiled slightly. "Can I talk to him alone for a while?"

Omi nodded, but Schuldig looked a bit doubtful if it would be fine to leave. 

Amethyst met Jade, and a string of understanding passed through. 

Schuldig finally nodded and let himself be hauled out by Omi with a calm smile on his face.

_Don't worry too much Schu; I will not hurt him anymore. _

* * *

            Ran gazed in amusement at Youji's blushing face.

            "Yotan, why won't you tell him?"

            The blonde sighed and met his eyes. "I – I can't."

            Ran's pale hand sifted through the tangled strands gently. "Why not?" 

            Youji smiled weakly, closing his eyes as he felt the comforting warmth of his surrogate brother's "He deserves someone better than I am."

            The hand stilled and finally fell away. He wanted to protest from the loss of warmth and he opened his eyes, willing himself to do so. He was about to speak up when he saw the look Ran was giving him. "What –"

            The redhead raised a hand, and the blonde actually thought he would strike him. He closed his eyes and shrank away a bit, waiting for the blow to land. There was nothing.

            There was nothing but the feel of a comforting hand pressing slightly against the top of his head. The manner was quite condescending, but he did not pay any heed to it. All that mattered to him was the feeling of being protected.

            "I know you love him Yotan." Ran said softly. "I've known ever since the last of my family vanished in front of my eyes and you took me under your wing."

            "I –"

            "I knew even before he became my best friend, I knew even before I finally accepted you and Omi as my only family."

            "Ran..." Youji opened his eyes, gazing softly at the smiling face.

            "He's such a pain in the ass, but still..." Ran chuckled. "Still, he's got something good inside him. I just know it." He stared into Youji's eyes. "And I know that you know what I'm saying more than anyone, because you were with him longer than I was."

            Youji's emerald eyes glazed over in recollection.

**_FLASHBACK_**

            **_"Oi, gaijin! Get out, or I'll kick your ass straight to heaven! NOW!"_**_ Youji growled angrily as he glared at the European businessman looking around in fascination at the displays in his flower shop. _

_            He had his share of rude foreigners, and he had a sudden inkling that this person is no less rude than the others who came before him. It took just one look at the way the person carried himself, and for Youji, it was enough to make him annoyed as hell. He was about to tell the guy off again when said person turned around and looked at him straight in the eye. _

_All words were stuck in his throat as he took in the other's appearance. Youji had never seen eyes as beautiful as the other's. People wonder about his eyes most of the time, and upon looking at the mirror, he **KNEW** his emerald eyes made him stand out and look positively delicious, but this one... his eyes were burning Jade. A shade of green he had never seen before on anyone. _

_Instead of retorting in an obnoxious manner, the foreigner just smiled at him disarmingly. **"Hey, Is that your way of treating a first-time customer?"**  _

**_For the first time, in his life, he could not speak._**

**_END FLASHBACK_**

            Youji chuckled at the memory and nodded at his surrogate brother. "You're right." He conceded. "But that doesn't mean that I should say whatever it is that I'm feeling to him. He'll just laugh at me."

            Ran's brows furrowed. "Eh? Why? He's not that callous, you know!"

            "Hai, but you know that guy... he'll think I'm just goofing off or probably he'll consider it as a payback in my part for all the headaches he gave me for the past eight years."

            The redhead chuckled. "Probably... but it doesn't hurt to try."

            "No, you're wrong about that Ran... it would end a friendship… a precious friendship." Youji's eyes were somehow lost. He shook his head and grinned weakly at the redhead. "And it would only end in a lot of disappointment and heartbreak." 

Silence.

Finally, after a few minutes, the blonde spoke in hushed tones. "So, enough about me... how about you? What happened? Why did you lose?"

            Ran sighed. "I failed my family again... present and past." He murmured, hanging his head in shame. 

            He could feel Youji's eyes boring into his face. "People lose all the time. Maybe he cheated."

            "In a way, yes, he did." Purple eyes cowered at the memory. "He made me think he didn't have enough to form a twenty-one by taking more cards and then discarding them. I was such a sucker."

            "Don't put yourself down." The older blonde scolded him. "Be like Schuldig, you know, very confident that he will gain the upper hand the next time he and his opponent meet."

            "I know, think positive and all that... but it's easier said than done..." Ran sighed again. Giving Youji a pitiful look. "I just have to accept it... I always fail."

            "Don't think like that, baka." Youji chastised, swatting him playfully on the head. "Anyway, what was the wager?"

            "The winner gets what he wants from the other, no holds barred." 

            There was something in Ran's tone that stopped Youji from asking another question. Something that bears a semblance of... confusion?

            "And what did he get from you?"

* * *

            Crawford's eyes glittered as he gazed absently at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, searching for an aftertaste. 

            He could still see the beautiful amethyst eyes widening in shock, could still feel the velvet wetness of the lone tear that fell down a pale cheek, could still smell the fragrance of alabaster skin... could still taste the flavor of cherry lips.

            **Fujimiya Ran.**

            It was the other's consequence, and he could not say that he, as the winner, did not enjoy administering it, because honestly, he did. He enjoyed himself as he clutched the redhead close. 

            Slowly, he opened his eyes again, the golden brown orbs glistening mischievously under the cozy lighting fixtures of his private bath.

            "I will see you tomorrow, kitten"

* * *

            "Uh, Youji... are you sure he's alright?" Schuldig waved a hand in front of the immobile face, his Jade eyes peering into the glazed purple orbs.

            "I don't know Schu... he seemed out of it... he answered my question on what Crawford-san wanted of him, you know, the details I gave the two of you a while ago... and then... and then he went catatonic!" 

            "Lets talk to him about it, maybe he'll snap out of his reverie." Omi rationalized, plopping on the bed beside Ran. "Youji-niichan, you better start."

            The older blonde breathed deeply. "So, Ran, you said he kissed you and then told you to meet him same time to play again tomorrow."

            "Hai."

            The three exchanged surprised looks.

            "Erm, so, you're going tomorrow?" Schuldig asked next after clearing his throat.

            "Hai."

            "Even if he kisses you again?" Omi asked, blushing at the thought. Youji swatted him with a pillow.

            "Hai."

            "Are you sure?"

            "Hai."

            "Really sure?"

            "Hai."

            Schuldig peered at the redhead's eyes suspiciously. "Do you understand what we're asking you?"

            "Hai."

            "**Okay, if you do, then tell me who I am.**"

            "**Hai**."

            Youji slapped a hand on his forehead, groaning inwardly. "Great. Now what are we going to do?"

            Silence.

            "**Hai**."

            And Omi thought **Schuldig** and **his brother** were creepy... 

            **Now, Ran was on his list.**

* * * * * * * *

TBC 

* * * * * * * *

A/N: Hey guys, another chapter for all of you! Hope you enjoyed reading it! Reviews everyone! ^_____^

* * *

**BRAD:** That was it?

**AUTHOR:** Yes, why?

**BRAD:** I appeared only once! *Pouts*

**AUTHOR:** So?

**BRAD:** *glares* I demand to appear more than once next chapter!

**AUTHOR:** *glared evilly back* Make me.

**BRAD:** *Full assassin mode* SHI-NE! *Waves gun in the air*

**AUTHOR:** AAAAAH! HELP! ANYBODY!

**SCHU:** Uh, Crawfish, you might not want to do that...

**AUTHOR:** Schu... my hero! *Huggles*

**BRAD:** *stops charging and glares at Schuldig* Why?

**SCHU:** *Tries to break away from author's deadly bear hug* because...

**BRAD:** ...

**RAN:** Because if you kill her, she'll never write a fic about you anymore, coz she's dead, baka gaijin!

**BRAD:** *eyes widen in realization* Oh, right. Sorry about that...

**AUTHOR:** Brad, why are you apologizing to him instead of me?

**BRAD:** ...

**RAN:** Simple! Because I'm more beautiful than you are!

**AUTHOR:** *sniff*

 **SCHU:** *Still trying to break away from author's deadly bear hug* note to self: never go near Brad, Ran, or the author... they're psychos. 

**FARFARELLO:** Someone called me?

* * * * * * * *


	4. Chapter 3: Twice as NICE?

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Three**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

CHAPTER 3: Twice as... NICE? 

"Ran, are you sure you're okay with this?"

Ran's back visibly stiffened at the wary question. He slowly turned, his features a mask of badly held fear and sense of self-preservation. The redhead was, as usual, trying to school his features to its usual mask of calmness. 

He was trying... but he was not succeeding.

Tanned fingers raked ginger tresses. Sighing, the other spoke. "Aw, shit, I know you're not alright with the arrangement, you stubborn idiot... Why don't you just skip it and try to hold yourself back together, the way you were before the bastard fucked up your life?"

Ran sighed, his mask finally disintegrating to nothingness as he looked down, defeated, suddenly interested in the way his boots shone under the dim lights of the living room. "I can't Schu."

"EH?" Schuldig cried out in disbelief. "What do you mean you can't? You survived before, so why not try to live life again now?"

"It isn't that simple, Schu." He replied, twirling a crimson eartail around his fingers. "I have to do this again. I have to do this until I finally win the hand and get back from him what was originally mine."

"But –"

"I know it sounds so pathetically irrational, but my life was destroyed by a game of cards... isn't it good to get everything back and unleash a form of revenge through a game of cards as well?"

The German wanted to argue that the idea was INDEED pathetically irrational, but what he saw in the set of Ran's determined features stopped him from uttering his protests anymore. After a few moments of glaring, he finally gave his reluctant acquiescence. "Alright, fine. You've made your desires known." He crossed the boundary between him and his best friend, his arms encasing the smaller man comfortingly. 

Schuldig wanted to protect him... however, he knew that his protection wasn't enough for Ran to live in peace. He needed to fulfill a promise to his family... and he, as a friend, should respect his decision and lend a supporting hand if ever everything the redhead planned fails.

He buried his nose on the thick mane of crimson, his arms wound tight, as if never to let go. "You're one stubborn bastard." He huffed, his voice muffled as he pushed his lips deeper. 

There was a slight vibration on his throat, along with a faint chuckle that somehow sounded false to his ears.

"I know Schu... I know."

* * *

Crawford knew he looked silly as he surveyed his business for the second time that day. He knew that people were staring at him, thinking, with enough proof, that he was undeniably insane. 

He was smiling as he inspected every gaming stall...

**A lot.**

He couldn't help it. He was excited to see his kitten...

Same time, they agreed...

And he knew Fujimiya would never back out from any type of deal.

Winner takes what he wants. 

**No limits.**

**No holding back.**

**No anything.**

This afternoon would be very interesting...

Crawford licked his lips in anticipation.

Just half an hour more...

**He couldn't wait.**

* * *

Youji was mulling over what would be the outcome of that afternoon's card game when the door to his room opened. He immediately looked up and a smile formed on his lips as he saw whom it was. 

"Schu... what brings you here?" The blonde's emerald eyes glittered with hidden happiness and visible amusement at the almost hesitant approach of his friend. 

Schuldig grinned, scratching the back of his head sheepishly as he sauntered toward the bed. "Hey Yotan." He greeted almost shyly. He plopped down on the soft mattress and gripped the edge of the bed lightly. "How are you feeling?"

Youji hid his shocked expression in a sunny smile. _Schuldig is concerned about ME?/ _ "I'm doing fine... I feel better now..." _Now that you're here..._ "Umm... so, what..." 

"What am I doing here?" The German chuckled nervously. "Honestly, I don't know."

"You... don't know?" The blond faltered, leaning forward, his hair swishing forward that it covered part of his face. "I don't understand..."

A hand reached out and fingered the silky cornsilk strands, playing with them for a while before finally tucking them behind both ears. 

"I don't understand it either." 

Youji could not breathe. He wasn't quite sure if he was having another of his attacks, or if he was having his first bout of asthma... or maybe it was just a sign that his fantasies were somehow becoming true.

Suddenly, the hand that lingered on the tip of his right ear dropped. Schuldig cleared his throat, tearing his gaze away from the sickly form on the bed. He instead focused on the Botticelli painting hanging on the opposite wall. 

"I..." 

Schuldig cut him off, with a weary sigh. "Look, I came here because I wanted to talk to you about something."

The loss of warmth on his ear tip disappointed Youji to no end... along with the way his friend's eyes shied away from him. He felt his heart ache... he never knew a touch could affect him so. He gazed with muted unhappiness at the German, trying to process what the other was saying.

"... About... Ran..."

Ah. Ran

**Ran.**

Why was it that the only name he had ever heard from Schuldig's mouth spoken with such strong passion was the name Ran? He knew they were the best of friends, but... why does he have to mention his surrogate brother's name everytime they're together? Youji gripped the edge of his blanket so hard that his knuckles turned white. 

Maybe Schuldig was... in love with... with Ran.

That was the soundest explanation he had concerning the German's constant uttering of that name. 

  "What about Ran?" He asked, ignoring the painful aches that needled his weary senses. 

"I'm worried about him... he looked so forlorn and afraid when he left..." Schuldig voiced out his thoughts, eyes still on the painting. "What if he loses again and as a consequence, become the bastard's bower slave?"

"Bower slave?"

"Ah, sorry, bed slave I mean." 

Youji admitted that he was very afraid of the worst that could happen to Ran that afternoon. He's always worrying about him... but he knew, and somehow, he sensed that Schuldig's affections run much deeper. 

Like right now...

Schuldig is fretting over the outcome too much that it seemed as if he wasn't about to shut up until Ran finally comes home, while he, Kudou Youji would only sit and try to divert his thoughts from his sworn brother's to other things that might be of help when crisis arises. 

Youji would kill for Ran, just as he would for anyone who would harm those he cares for deeply... Schuldig...

Schuldig would SLAUGHTER thousands just for Ran ALONE and no one else.

Tears threatened to fall and knives of jealousy were stabbing his heart repeatedly. He knew he shouldn't be jealous of Ran, since he doesn't know any of what Youji already knew... but he couldn't help it...

**_FLASHBACK_**

_"I know you love him Yotan." Ran said softly. "I've known ever since the last of my family vanished in front of my eyes and you took me under your wing."_

_            "I –"_

_            "I knew even before he became my best friend, I knew even before I finally accepted you and Omi as my only family."_

_            "Ran..." Youji opened his eyes, gazing softly at the smiling face._

            "He's such a pain in the ass, but still..." Ran chuckled. "Still, he's got something good inside him. I just know it." He stared into Youji's eyes. "And I know that you know what I'm saying more than anyone, because you were with him longer than I was."

_ "You're right." He conceded. "But that doesn't mean that I should say whatever it is that I'm feeling to him. He'll just laugh at me."_

_            Ran's brows furrowed. "Eh? Why? He's not that callous, you know!"_

_            "Hai, but you know that guy... he'll think I'm just goofing off or probably he'll consider it as a payback in my part for all the headaches he gave me for the past eight years."_

_            The redhead chuckled. "Probably... but it doesn't hurt to try."_

_            "No, you're wrong about that Ran... it would end a friendship… a precious friendship." Youji's eyes were somehow lost. He shook his head and grinned weakly at the redhead. "And it would only end in a lot of disappointment and heartbreak."_

**_END FLASHBACK_**

He shook away the sordid and hateful thoughts in his mind, finally focusing on Schuldig's words, trying not to let the outmost concern affect him anymore. 

"I'm sure he would be alright." He murmured, quietly. "He's a strong person... we cannot do anything once he decides to do something... you know how stubborn he is..."

"EXACTLY!" Schuldig chuckled as he turned his eyes back at him. "I told him a while ago that he's a really stubborn bastard, and guess what he said..."

"What?" Youji smiled a little, as he took in the childish look in the German's Jade eyes. 

"He said: 'I know Schu... I know' would you believe that guy?" Schuldig finally burst out laughing at a memory only he himself knew of. 

_I was right about things Ran... You're wrong..._ Youji thought as he let out a forced chuckle so as not to offend Schuldig. _I will never have him..._

**_FLASHBACK_**

_Ran gazed in amusement at Youji's blushing face._

_            "Yotan, why won't you tell him?"_

_            The blonde sighed and met his eyes. "I – I can't."_

_            Ran's pale hand sifted through the tangled strands gently. "Why not?" _

**_END FLASHBACK_**

I cannot tell him Ran, because it would ruin a friendship... it would ruin lives... his... yours... and mine... I can't handle that... He thought despairingly. No one would want to have a relationship with me anymore when they have healthy and robust people like you around... No one cared for me romantically ever since I got sick... and no one would definitely start now when I'm... I just... I just can't tell him... because...

 **"He deserves someone better than I am."**

* * *

            "You came."

Ran wanted to just bolt and put the revenge-hungry part of him away...

Just to get away from this man.

"I did." He answered as calmly as he could muster. He hoped that he looked unfazed, because, he really didn't feel unshaken at all.

"Well then, sit down and let's play." Crawford was as immaculate as ever. His white suit was pristine, his shoes were polished to perfection... and not a single strand of his hair was out of place. 

Ran nodded quickly and sat down. 

A hand was given after a few shuffles. Amethyst eyes were staring at the way the cards were mixed up, trying to gauge if the level of skill the owner of the casino extended to that of cheating. Apparently, it wasn't, and the giving out of cards went smoothly.

They were playing blackjack again... the same game that destroyed his family.

The same game he lost to yesterday...

The same game that he vowed he wouldn't lose today.

The first hand formed an eighteen. He needed a three to win, so he picked a card from the deck and almost crowed with relief as he uncovered a three of spades. He got a twenty-one!

Surprisingly, Crawford did not pick any card at all. 

Ran was silently hoping that he would win in this game...

"I'm giving it out." He finally declared, his hands clammy as he fingered his three cards. 

"We'll show our hands same time again, is that okay with you?" Crawford's golden brown orbs glittered with anticipation. 

"One, two, three."  Ran counted loudly for both their benefits. 

Ran couldn't believe his eyes.

**A draw.**

They both got a twenty-one! 

His heart sank as he encountered Crawford's amused eyes. 

"Again?" The casino owner grinned almost predatorily.

* * *

"So, who won?" 

Brown eyes glared at another pair of chocolate orbs a shade darker than the first.

"Shush... you're disturbing my concentration!"

"Eh? I'M disturbing your concentration? Since when did watching ever need too much concentration?"

"Shush!"

"Why are you shushing me? If you wanna know, just come here for godsakes and LOOK for YOURSELF!"

"Alright, alright, move a little bit, Ken-kun, I'm taking a look!" 

He peeped into the crack and gasped as his eyes encountered a pair of shapely legs. Blood dripped from his nose and he immediately fell back, swirly-eyed and unconscious.

"Oi, Nagi-kun, what happened to you? Are you alright, Nagi-kun? Nagi-kun!"

"The two of you." Came a sudden female voice, as the door they were watching from opened. Pale skin glowing with health and ebony hair caressing smooth cheeks entered Ken's line of sight. "Birman!" He exclaimed, his eyes widening into that of saucers as he saw the scantily clad bartender. Blood trickled down his nose the same fashion Nagi's did and was immediately out cold.

"Oi, the two of you, get up!" Birman cried out in dismay. Great. She was going to get the vodka bottles by herself again. "These damned hentai kids!" She muttered darkly as she stepped into the darkness of the supply room. She flipped open the light switch and smiled as a single golden eye and a wry grin greeted her.

"**Damned hentai kiddies hurt God**." 

Birman laughed, patting the bartender who was going to replace her after her shift, on the shoulder.

"**Amen to that Farfarello, amen to that!**"

* * *

Ran flipped over his second hand. 

Sweat beaded his brow as he got a twenty. 

"Oh no." He muttered nervously. 

"Did you say anything, Fujimiya?" Crawford asked, his brow furrowed in mock concern.

"Ah, Iie, no, nothing..."

Ran's trembling hand took a card from the deck before him. Two of hearts... not good. He tried another. 

**Nine of diamonds.**

No... He would have to discard a face card for it, and his hand would count to only nineteen.

He sighed. **It was hopeless.**

His eyes wandered to the casino owner. He was, again, picking up many cards, and with a final sigh, the American stopped and tapped his fingers on the wooden gaming table. Sensing Ran's gaze on him, he looked up, and their eyes connected. "Something on my face?"

Ran blushed, immediately looking down in mortification. "None."

"You finished with your hand?"

He nodded, looking up at his opponent again. "Show them."

Both flipped their cards.

Golden browns twinkled.

"Seems like... I win again."

At that point, Ran wanted to die.

* * * * * * * *

TBC 

* * * * * * * *

A/N: And that's the third chapter! I included Farfie in here too... heh-heh, you get to see him more in the next chapters, trying his best to hurt God! *Evil grin* Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed reading this part... ^_____^

On to the next chapter! Reviews minna!

* * *


	5. Chapter 4: Helplessness

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Four**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

CHAPTER 4: Helplessness 

**RAN**

            "**IIE!**"

            Crawford regarded me with amused eyes, as I sat seething across from him. "We had an agreement, Fujimiya. It was made clear before we started our first game yesterday."

            "You're not playing fair! You should've just asked for something from me!" I protested forcefully, I knew that my face was burning as red as my hair, but I did not mind... the more he sees me agitated, the more he would get it through his thick skull that I will NEVER agree to what he proposed! 

            "I'm playing fair kitten –" The impossible miscreant began, as he took a sip of his Cordial.

            I felt the hairs on the back of my head bristle in annoyance. 

**_KITTEN?_**

Couldn't he come up with better English words to describe me? He could call me a Daredevil... that would be a good description... or maybe even an "Unlucky Gambler"... but... _KITTEN_? 

"**DON'T** call me **THAT**!" I huffed, leaving him to withstand the full brunt of the infamous Fujimiya Death Glare. Of course, he did not even flinch from the intense hatred bombarding him through eye contact.

            "As I was saying, before you **NICELY** interrupted me, I **AM** playing fair." Wet rosy lips were pulled apart by a small smile. "I did not cheat, and I **DID** ask something from you."

            "No you didn't!" I argued desperately. _I am running out of excuses here... don't you see that you CAN'T EVER make me do what you want me to do? How insensitive can you get? _ "You did not ask anything from me... you asked for **ME**!" 

            Yes, he asked for me.... **ME**! 

            I really hate this guy!

            "Ah, correction, kitten, I did not ask for you... I asked for **WHAT** you can **DO** for me, your service."

            I winced at the impact of the last word. **GREAT**. I knew that if I agree with the conditions, I would be humiliating – no – **DEGRADING **myself. 

**_Calm down, Fujimiya... cool it..._**

I took a couple of deep calming breaths and tried to negotiate with the blasted American. "Look, why don't I just do the bar, I mean, you know, just work in here... I'm good at flipping anything."

            "So I've noticed." Crawford smirked, his voice full of lusty innuendo. "I will have a better idea of what other things you could flip aside from alcohol bottles when you agree to what I'm proposing."

            How dare he? However, my body betrayed me as a shiver ran up my spine when my brain registered the change in his voice. 

I felt... 

I took another deep breath, a deep blush still lingering across my cheeks.

"That wasn't funny." 

"I know."

Even if I'm not holding a mirror, I knew that a vein had just popped on my pale forehead.  I wanted to kill Crawford. **Kill. Kill. Kill**. "ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME?"

A self-satisfied smile and a puff of cigarette smoke were his only answers. 

Another vein popped from my forehead. "Teme..." I muttered, glaring daggers at the seemingly unaffected man. My hands clenched into fists as my willpower tried to control a violent outburst of anger that threatened to overcome my senses.

"What would it be then, Fujimiya?" Crawford asked, studying his buffed fingernails, a truly gaijin way of saying he's bored as hell with the conversation. I wanted to strangle him right then and there, however, I decided that my revenge would be fulfilled only if I'm not rotting behind bars. Bradley Crawford isn't worth a lifetime sentence in Keimusho no Fuitchi, the infamous prison in our side of Japan. 

**Must not kill.**

**Must not kill.**

**Must not kill.**

I glared at him, and he stared tolerantly at me. 

I couldn't help thinking that he's so sure of what the turnout of our argument would be... I shook my head, clearing my brain of hallucinatory thoughts. Crawford has supernatural abilities? Hn, get real. No one believes in that kind of shit anymore...

Okay, okay, so I **DO** believe in supernatural abilities. Schu has one – he can read everyone else's minds... but **THIS GUY**? I seriously doubt it.

I glared at him, and he stared tolerantly at me.

We stared at each other's eyes. 

I felt weird.

So I lost.

I blinked and turned away, my eyes searching the window, trying to stay calm as my heart pounded in the chamber of my chest, and my blood gushed through every nerve, making me feel as if I was going to faint.

I couldn't breathe.

**I lost.**

I humiliated my family all over again. 

**I failed them.**

So what more do I have to live for?

My family's gone... there's no one to stay alive for. Youji will have his Schu, and Omi will have them both and his studies to boot. So what risk do I have to avoid? I mean, I'm a hopeless case, right?

I watched the outside world, feeling so alone as a family hurried past the casino window. They were happy... they were complete.

**Mine's gone...**

I failed them.

**I don't deserve happiness.**

I turned back at Crawford, staring into his expectant golden brown orbs.

"Okay, you won fair and square..."

The American lifted a disbelieving eyebrow, and a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"I will do as you whatever it is you want me to do."

            Crawford closed his eyes after my admission, a full-blown smile on his face. Quietly, he stood up and dusted his clothes. "Great, you can start – "

            "Can I see my family first?" I cut him off, bowing my head and staring determinedly at my shoes, impatient to see my present family and inform them of what happened. "I'll come back later."

            Silence.

            I knew he was eyeing me, thinking that I have a chance of escaping if I did go home now. "I don't understand... I thought you don't have a family anymore?"

            I flinched at the callous question. "I don't. But I have people who had become a family to me for the past five years. Just let me say goodbye to them. It's the least I can do since I can't see them again when I start to live where you do." My words were spoken in a monotone. 

            Monotonous but with an underlying ring of pain.

            **Pain.**

            **I deserve this.**

**            I deserve this punishment.**

**            I failed them.**

**            I will have no redemption.**

**            I deserve this.**

            I waited in silence as he thought of my wish.

            "Then go. Come back after you're through."

            I admit I was surprised. I thought he wouldn't let me go this time. I took a deep breath and looked up. He was gone.

            I had not even heard his footsteps as he went away.

            Slowly, I stood up. Tears blurred my vision as I walked towards the open doors. 

            **There is no turning back.**

* * *

            "Okaeri." Schuldig greeted me, a smile on his face as he stood by the door he opened a second ago. "Ran... you look like **SHIT!** Come on in! What happened?"

            It was comforting, the way Schu greeted me. The German's a bit vulgar at times, but still, it doesn't make me feel dirty. In fact... I felt more relaxed when he's at his most **"amusing"** behavior. 

            "Schu... Watashi wa... watashi wa..."

            "English Ran!" Schuldig grinned, his eyes dancing merrily as I forgot yet again that he's not very well versed with Japanese. The only words he surely knew the meanings were **_"Shimatta", "K'so", "Zakkenayo", "Baka", "Aho", "Shi-ne" and "Omae o korosu" _**– all of which were thrown at him when he and Yotan were having their daily dose of fighting. Ah... mine too... umm... the **_"Shi-ne"_** part. I tend to say that a lot whenever he grates at my nerves as he annoys the living daylights out of me in the mornings.

            Mornings.

            Now I won't even hear him padding around, never feel his fingers pinch my cheeks, never hear him tease me by making fun of my name... calling me a **_"cute little orchid" _**as he ruffles my sleep-disheveled hair. 

             "Ran-kun! You're home! Finally!"

            Omi.

            I will never see Omi's mediator-like attitude whenever Yotan and Schu bombard each other with ruthless words over a drowning flower display. I will never taste his infamous udon again. 

            "Look oniichan!" Omi cried merrily as he spotted his older brother emerging from somewhere behind him. "Ran-kun's home!"

            There was happiness in Youji's eyes when his emerald orbs locked into mine. He smiled, stepping forward to greet me with a hug. I took a slight step back, which caused a drop of suspicion from his liquid gaze. 

            Yotan. The person who gave me back my life when I lost it five years ago. He gave me back my spirit... the will to try to move on. He gave me his support and I gave him my trust. 

            I gave him my trust.

            And he gave his trust back... with love... with much brotherly love.

            Yotan... my brother, my friend, my... my...

            **My family.**

            I started for him, reaching out in desperation. He caught me in his arms and held me tight as I cried, clutching at him as if my life depended on it. I cried and cried, saturating his shirt with my tears. 

            **I am weak.**

            I usually don't admit that I am... but in this case, I could not deny it. 

            I need someone to depend on... someone who would make the hurt go away.

            I had my old family... but they had been taken away five years ago. Now I have another family... one where I felt I belonged...

            And the same person who took my biological family away from me is taking me away from them.

            I couldn't bear it anymore. I wanted to die... and yet I couldn't. I owe Yotan that much. He wanted me to stay alive. Never give up, he said. Life may look down at times, but there's always a chance for it to finally look up.

            "Ran..." He murmured, his voice muffled as he nuzzled my hair with his lips. "Ran... daijoubu desu ka?"

            I shook my head, tears flowing more freely now than before. I buried myself deeper in his embrace.

            "I lost..." I sobbed. "He wants me... he wants me to..."

            "He wants you to what Ran?" Yotan's voice was as pained as mine. He buried his lips further into my hair. They were trembling... as if he knew what I would say next. 

            "His prize... **_I am his prize_**..."

* * *

            Yotan had another attack that evening. I was torn between going back to the damned casino and staying with my bond-brother until he's well again. The moment I said the words, his heartbeat went haywire. He cried out in pain as I disentangled from our embrace. He clutched at his chest and fell to his knees on the carpeted floor. 

            I cried for him, but Schuldig held me back, whispering reassuring words in my ear as Omi helped his older brother up, leading him to his room. Slowly, Schu swayed, taking me with him in his slight dancing steps. He held me tight... as if he never wanted me to let go.

            "Yotan... he'll be alright wouldn't he?" I asked him brokenly through my tears. "Schu... I... I'm sorry for..."

            "Hush. It's not your fault." He murmured, pushing me away from him slightly so as to look deep into my tear-filled eyes. "You did all you can in that game... and Yotan... Yotan's just upset... he'll be alright, you will too... you'll see."

            "No I won't." I said. "I will never be alright Schu... and I wouldn't see... I'm forbidden to go back here. He's going to make me his prisoner... in that place... that... that place... that..." 

            "Stop crying." He said quietly, his eyes determined as he gazed at me. "If you don't find anything pleasing out there, we're going to find a way to let you escape from that place. I promise." He tapped his head with a slender forefinger. "I can talk to you through this, right?"

            "Yes, but –"

            He put a warm finger on my lips. "No, don't argue. All in due time Ran, if you need us, we'll be there."

            "Schu."

            "**That's a promise, Ran**."

* * *

            After saying my tearful goodbyes, I packed my meager belongings and took them with me. 

            "I see you're back." A mocking voice issued out from behind a tall Sakura as I stepped onto the greenery-filled area a mile from the casino. "I thought you'd escape."

            I jumped, startled. I peered out into the darkness. The glint of his spectacles gave him away. 

            **It was Crawford.**

            "You thought wrong." I retorted, pulling my baggage with me toward where he stood, an unlit cigarette clamped loosely between his lips. He smirked. 

            "Maybe." He turned around and gestured for me to come with him. 

            Stiff as I was, I willed myself to move, and so I did. He led me to his car and told me to put my luggage in the back of the car that was waiting for us at the wide clearing. As soon as I was strapped in, I turned to him full of questions.

            "Where are we going?"

            "To my house."

            "Why?"

            "Don't ask too many questions. Personal slaves don't ask questions."

            I immediately shut up and looked out at the passing scenery. It was dark, and the area we were trekking was scary. 

            ~ _Oi, Ran, are you there?_ ~

            **Schuldig.**

            ~ _I am._ ~

            ~ _Are you doing alright?_ ~

            ~ _I'm still alive... so yes... I guess I am. _~

            ~ _That wasn't funny, you know. We're worried about you, especially Yotan. ~_

            **Youji... **

_            ~ Is he alright? What did the doctor say? ~_

_            ~ He's already stable, so don't worry too much. ~_

            I sighed in relief. I turned my head away from the window a bit and saw Crawford's knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. I wondered why.  

            _~ Schu, why is Crawford gripping the steering wheel? ~_

_            ~ Crawford is there with you? ~_

            Now I was surprised. Usually, Schuldig knows when someone is with any of us. He feels the push of our companions' minds and he reads their thoughts. So... why can't Schu feel the push of the American's mind? 

            _~ Stop joking Schu... I'm already pissed off, so don't be an annoyance anymore. Please? ~_

_            ~ No Ran, I'm not joking. I cannot feel any push around you... that guy must have strong shields... ~_

_            ~ Shields? ~_

            I could mentally hear Schu sigh. _~ Something your pea-sized brain couldn't understand. ~_

            I winced. _~ Ouch. ~_

            _~ Ah, sorry... that wasn't an insult – it's just my expression, remember? ~_

I sighed again_. ~ Yeah, yeah... I know. ~_

  
            Then, the car stopped.

            "We're here." I looked out into the window again and my jaw visibly dropped in awe. 

            I was looking at a MANSION!

            _~ Ah, sorry to cut our talk short, but Yotan's calling for me. ~_

_            ~ It's alright... I... I... have to tend to my job anyways... ~_

_             ~ Ah, good night then. ~_

_            ~ Aa... Oyasumi. ~_

            "Are you getting out of there or not?"

            I flinched from the ice in Crawford's voice. I looked at him and his eyes bored into mine. 

            Icy golden brown versus confused amethyst.

            No wonder he won.

            I blinked and turned away. I quickly popped open the latch on the door and slid quietly out, feeling an intense stare on me. 

            I heard footsteps walking away from me and I immediately looked at where Crawford once was, only to find the area empty. I surveyed the whole area, and finally saw him walking up the path towards a huge oaken doorway.

            I turned my gaze away from his lean frame and back at the huge mansion I was about to live in.

            I took a deep breath, a feeling of dread settling deep into the pit of my stomach.

            There was no turning back.

* * * * * * * *

TBC

* * * * * * * *

A/N: How about that guys? Good chapter or not? ^___^ I seem to make Ran suffer a lot... and Yotan too! L Well, hope you liked this part! On to the next chapter everyone! Reviews, reviews!!! ^_______^ 


	6. Chapter 5: Plunge into Darkness

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Five**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

NOTES:** (~) is for the telepathic link, (~*~) is for Crawford's visions, (/ /) are for character thoughts. **

CHAPTER 5: Plunge into Darkness 

**He was crying.**

**He did not know why, but he was.**

Tears were flowing freely down his pallid cheeks, a tiny stream that somehow managed to get away from the wide river and were redirected towards his pale lips. 

He was aching... a deep ache that did not only resonate in the surface, but also bone-deep. His left cheek was swollen, the bruises purple underneath the glaring chandelier lights. The corners of his trembling mouth were cracked, old cuts reopening under staining pressure. His neck was riddled with blue marks – bruises again – those that he knew would not fade away for a long time. The damage was severe – barbaric even... and it extended way down his chest, tracing an indefinite pattern to his stomach. Slender purple fingerprints decorated his lower body, concentrated on his flanks. 

He was lying down again on the soft and sinfully comfortable bed. The white sheets mimicking snow as they rumpled around him... So pure... so untainted... Seemingly untouched in their brilliance. 

The pristine spread, he knew, would soon end up bloody again the minute he gets up – if he ever gets up. 

He was bound to the head of the bed with steel cuffs.

He was in pain.

**He was crying.**

**He did not know why, but he was...**

It has always been like this. It wasn't as if the cruelty was his first...

**He should've been used to this by now...**

He shouldn't be crying...

**He's strong.**

He's strong...

**Isn't he?**

* * * 

            **_I shouldn't have done it..._**

            He sat on his swivel chair, staring at his personalized crystal paperweight. 

            _But he was fighting me off... and – yeah right. It's not as if you've been so gentle to him other times before... he always ends up that way..._

            Bound.

            Helpless.

            Pitiful.

            **Broken.**

            He shivered slightly at the thought of his new acquisition with eyes empty, lips forever turned down at the corners in unhappiness, features blank and seemingly unfeeling... reacting solely on his every whim.

            It was frightening.

            He shook his head to clear away the haunting imagery. 

            Closing his eyes, he felt a sudden ache deep in his gut. 

He did not know why but it was there...

**Hurting...**

Probably more than any pain he had ever established in another's body.

Why should he care?

He was his slave, so technically, he should be doing whatever he wanted with him, and he should do whatever he bid him to. It's that simple...

**He's not sorry for what he has done...**

He wasn't...

**Was he?**

* * *

            Nagi could not concentrate. 

            His cheeks heated up when he felt a rush of embarrassment as he remembered Birman whacking him on the head with a harisen. The blow of the paper fan was so strong that he actually stumbled forward and had to grip something just to avoid knocking Ken over.

            Ch'!

            That bargirl is sooo EVIL! 

            He sighed, shaking his head slightly as he polished the counter, rubbing on a stubborn dried lemon juice stain. Maybe he should just tell Crawford-san that the counter is slightly damaged, so it wouldn't come out of any of their paychecks the minute the impairment is spotted during monthly inspections. Heh, Crawford-san wanted everything perfect after all!

            **_Crawford-san..._**

            He couldn't sleep much last night. Sheer terror had replaced his sleepiness as pained and shamed cries echoed throughout the whole mansion. 

            He lived in one of the smaller rooms, a favor from Crawford-san when the older man found him sleeping in front of the black wrought-iron gates the day he turned nine. 

            It hadn't been such a bad idea then, and the Crawford-san had become his ideal person... Heck, the older man even fought for his stay in the house with his own father!  

**_FLASHBACK_**

_            "**TAKE THAT PIECE OF WORTHLESS TRASH AWAY FROM MY SIGHT!**" Screeched Thomas Crawford, Bradley Crawford's father, as he shoved a dirty Nagi away from him._

_            Crawford glared icily at his father, snatching the kid and putting his arm around the child's shoulder in a show of protection._

_            "**No**."_

_            "What did you say?" His father shot back angrily. _

_            But Crawford remained calm._

_            Glaring golden browns bored into the old man's dark soul._

_            "He's not going away." He enunciated more carefully, his eyes glittering in a twisted sort of amusement as his father boxed him on the head for his impudence. He did not even wince as the blow landed. Nagi did not know if it was because the blow wasn't that painful, or the bespectacled man he's holding on to was used to the abuse._

_            Crawford straightened and raked a hand through his unruly hair. _

_            "Nagi will stay, dad, even if you say you don't want him."_

_            Nagi's eyes widened in awe. _

_            **Someone actually cared for him!**_

_            The senior was about to say something when golden browns slipped away from his, and the owner turned, looking down at the little boy looking up adoringly at him._

_            "**Nagi will always stay**."_

**_END FLASHBACK_**

            He thought then that everything was perfect about him, and for Nagi, he was a God.

            **That changed when he heard the frustrated moans for the first time. **

            The next day, the sheets would be stained with blood – right smack in the middle of pristine sheets. He knew Crawford-san liked white sheets on his bed, and was the only one who used the silken kind... so it was not hard to guess that the sheets were from his room...

            It became a habit... a habit that did not end even after the Crawford Senior died in a freak car accident.  

            He had thought then that the old and impossibly EVIL man that was Crawford-san's father forced him to do those... things.

            **He had thought wrong.**

            The routine continued, and slowly, his adoration slipped with it... until all that was left was that impersonal respect due to someone older. 

            **_And then, the first night last week..._**

****

**            Nagi shook his head, trying to make himself forget...**

            But he couldn't...

            **He couldn't.**

            He thought it was just his imagination when he heard the sound that had been suspiciously absent for six months now...

**_FLASHBACK_**

            _"Ah... peace at last! No Ken-kun to bother me! YAY!" He mused happily, plopping tiredly on his soft bed. "Ah, alone at last! Hahaha! I have to get some sleep..."_

_            **"Aaah..."**_

_            He suddenly shot up from his position. _

_            **WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS WAS THAT?  **_

****

****_He strained to hear the queer sounds..._

_            **"Aaah..."**_

_            His eyes widened. **DON'T TELL ME...**_

**_"Aaah... Yamete... Onegai, Crawford-san... Yamete!"_**

_            The words finally convinced him._

_            **Someone was suffering again.**_

**_END FLASHBACK_**

            Nagi cringed at the memory. 

The pain was evident then, the suffering cry reverberating throughout the area, making him wince. 

Nagi rubbed the stain again, finally giving up with a frustrated sigh when it was too obvious that the lemon stain wouldn't be such a good boy as to just stay away from the marble finish. Great, he could just see it in the headlines next month.

**"LEMON STAIN EATS AWAY PRICEY MARBLE COUNTER.**

**NAOE NAGI, CONVICTED OF BEING THE LATEST ATTACK'S MASTERMIND"**

Great. Not only that would happen, he would likely be denied his paycheck too. 

Sheesh.

"Oi, Nagi, are you alright?" A scratchy, yet amazingly soothing voice asked. 

He looked up to see a single golden eye trained curiously at him. He smiled up to the older man.

"Ah, Farfarello-san... I'm fine... just a little ticked off..." he replied, grinning sheepishly. 

Farfarello raised a brow in amusement. "Ticked off by what, Birman knocking you almost unconscious with her paper fan, or not knocking Ken down?"

Nagi blushed.

"Oi, Farfarello-san, I was not ticked off by that! I'm glad that I didn't knock Ken-kun down! It's good that I didn't, or else, he would bang himself up falling headfirst into the tall bucket of grimy water!" Nagi protested.

Farfarello just let out a teasing smile. "Yeah. Right. Tell me that when you're not being too obvious."

Nagi knitted his brow in annoyance. "**EH? What do you mean by THAT?**"

Farfarello let out a whoosh of breath and turned, walking towards the other direction, studying his fingernails as if they were the best things to look at in the whole blessed world.

He shook his head for the umpteenth time, spacing out a bit as memories of last night filtered into him - AGAIN. He did not know why he was so disturbed. God knows that he was trying to forget what he had been hearing this week... but he just couldn't.

He tilted his face up, His eyes staring blankly at the dawn that was breaking over the dark horizon outside the casino window. 

**_Who is it Crawford-san? _**

**_Who is it now? _**

**_Is the new one going to end up the same as the others?_**

The dirty rag he had been gripping a while ago now fell down the newly mopped floor. 

He closed his eyes in memory.

**_Please... stop this Crawford-san..._**

**_Onegai..._**

* * *

**_Ah. Fujimiya Ran._**

            Farfarello watched the redhead walk slowly towards their cleaning group. He noted the bruises on his face. He wondered if the long-sleeved black turtleneck he wore covered others of the same kind... 

            His eyes narrowed in contemplation.

            **_There's something seriously wrong with this guy..._**

* * *

"Ah, Ran, genki desu ka?" Ken asked, peering worriedly at the seemingly paler boy whose coloring was rivaling Crawford's bedsheets. "You look as if someone gutted you!"

            Ran looked at him with empty eyes and gave him a small smile. "Ah, genki desu, Hidaka-san..."

            "Oi, stop that!" Ken chuckled and waved his hand dismissively at the recent recruit. "You're making me feel like an old chap! Plain Ken would be A – Okay!"

            Ran's smile widened a bit and he nodded. "Ah, Ken-ken."

            Nagi stopped polishing the counter. Farfarello stopped practicing his bartending skills, Birman paused mid-step, her hands full of wine bottles... and Ken...

            Ken stood there, stunned, his mouth opened, looking much like looking at a human being for the first time.

            Nagi was the first to recover. "NYAHAHAHAHAHA!" He guffawed. "KEN-KEN! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

            Birman was stooping down to place the bottles on the floor first before finally collapsing in gales of laughter. "Ran-kun... Ahahahaha!" She tinkled merrily. "That's a good one!"

            Farfarello shook his head and smirked, his golden gaze on an embarrassed Ken. He lifted his brows and waggled them for added effect. "**_Ken-Ken_**."

            Ken cried out in mortification and lunged at Ran. 

            Ran chuckled softly before shifting aside at the last possible moment, enabling Ken to dive headfirst into the tall bucket of dirty water standing behind him. 

            Laughter was echoing throughout the whole place as Ken gurgled, his arms waving frantically, trying to grab onto something he could gain leverage on and pull himself up. Fortunately for him, Ran harbors deep compassion towards anyone, and, as a result, pulled him mercifully out of the bucket.

            As Ken gasped for breath, Ran's amethyst eyes softened. Without thinking, he placed a hand on the wet and mucky brown head. "Gomen." He murmured quietly, smile on his face was gone, replaced with and expression that neither Ken – nor anyone in the room could place.  

            Startled, Ken stared at him, finding such a devastated soul in him that it made him want to protect... 

            He smiled instead, as if showing Ran that he was fine, and he did not have to worry much, or say sorry. 

            Then, the doors opened and footsteps were heard, stopping at close range.

            Ken turned his head and grinned as he saw the familiar figure looking at them with an amused expression in his eyes and a pleased smile. "Ah, Shachoo!" 

"Seems like you're all having fun... care if I join?"

There was a slight movement next to him, and inwardly, he wondered about it...

**_It was only Crawford-san! Why did Ran-kun take a hasty step back?_**

* * *

            It was involuntary... the step he took...

            It was a thoughtless action of defense... to have free movement if ever someone attacks... or maybe an act just to put more distance between him and –

            **...To put more distance between him and Crawford.**

            He closed his eyes wearily and took a deep breath. 

            **No one must know... **

            It was part of the deal...

            **No one must know...**

            It was what he wished for... 

            **No one must know.**

            Then, he opened them again, the amethyst gems glittering with something akin to amusement... amusement... forced amusement...

            **No one must know.**

            He gave the best smile he could muster, hoping it was enough... 

            "Ah, Ohayo gozaimasu, Crawford-san." He greeted in simulated respectfulness. 

            He averted his eyes quickly as golden browns encountered them.

            "Good morning to you too... Fujimiya-san."

            That's right... pretend...

            **No one must know.**

* * *

            **Fake.**

            It was the only way Crawford could perfectly describe whatever it was Ran was showing.

            **Fake.**

            He closed his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. 

            He tried to catch Ran's eyes... but they were averted... 

He wanted to see those eyes... just to know how he felt... if he was in pain...

**If he was in pain like he was.**

* * * * * * * *

TBC

* * * * * * * *

A/N: Sorry for the LOOOONG delay guys... never expected this term to be so tough! Well, guess I should be off to type the next chapter! Hopefully I could finish it sometime this week or early the next... Reviews everyone! ^_____^


	7. Chapter 6: Breathe

TITLE:  Gambling My Freedom Away 

CHAPTER: **Six**

BY: **Simply Kim**

GENRE: **Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)**

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know... 

DISCLAIMERS: **The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.**

NOTES:** (~) is for the telepathic link, (~*~) is for Crawford's visions, and (/ /) is for character thoughts. **

CHAPTER 6: Breathe 

            "Ran-san, could you please pass me the mop?" 

            Ran's eyes immediately scoped the area, trying to find the needed object amidst the clutter of the casino. "Ah, here it is Nagi-chan..."

            Nagi gave him a glare. "Ran-san, stop calling me that! I'm already grown up!" He protested, taking a hold of the metal handle, his lips puckered into an offended pout. 

            Ran smiled indulgently. "Hai, hai." He said in complete amusement, his eyes never leaving the younger boy's childish features. "Wakatteiru yo. I wont call you that again, I promise... unless..."

            Nagi was about to protest when the locked front door opened with a huge bang. Surprised, both jumped, eyes straying in fright at the doorway. Brown eyes slitted in complete irritation. The morning sunlight filtered in, rendering him temporarily blind. Slowly, he let them adjust, widening as the figure standing so tall a couple of meters away from him cleared. "Oi, what are you doing here? This place is closed in the morning!" He exclaimed, quite intimidated by the way the man stood without much hesitation... as if he wanted something and he was sure to get it. 

            "I know that kid." Came the haughty reply. "I was just visiting a..."

            Nagi jerked as he felt the sudden trembling of the person beside him. Wondering if Ran knew the intruder, he cast a questioning glance at the older boy. However, he was not prepared to see the glistening gemstone eyes that were set in a homesick face. He watched as Ran took a shaky step forward, the tears he was trying to hold in check pouring out like a raging river down the pallid cheeks. A slender hand reached out in a gesture of helplessness.

            "Schul... dig...?"

* * *

            Schuldig was afraid.

            He was not sure what to do the moment he set eyes on the person he was supposed to know. This man was a stranger, eyes freezing that one moment as he stepped into the gleaming casino floors, seeming to regard him as trouble... 

            But when he saw the sudden burst of repressed emotion in the eyes he loved so well... the feeling of absolute terror was replaced by something he could only name as some sort of longing. He realized almost instantaneously that the man standing a good two meters away from him was none other than Fujimiya Ran... 

            A broken Fujimiya Ran.

            He remembered that kind of expression. He had seen it before...

            Back when his sister was committed to a mental institution a few years back. It was the same self-pity... the same helplessness... the same pain. Anger boiled inside him, threatening to erupt. The urge to go and strike anything was strong, but he knew that those eyes would only be more pained if he did what he did not rebel against it. Instead, he took a couple of deep breaths... and another... and another, until he decided that taking in too much air would render him unconscious on the marble floors... a consequence of hyperventilation.

            He took a step forward, his cheeks felt cold... and something was dripping down his shirt. He took another step... and slowly... another, all the time staring at the broken features... a bit blurred but still distinguishable. 

            "Ran..." He murmured as a helpless hand reached out for him, eyes beseeching him to take it and drag him away from this hell. He came forward... closer... closer... and closer, finally reaching his goal and with a guttural cry, hugged his best friend tightly... never letting go... never wanting to let go. "Ran..."

            "Schuldig..." He heard Ran's tearful whisper. They had been apart for exactly a month, and they had been missing each other since day one.  There were times when Schuldig wanted to just get Ran away from Crawford's claws in those long days, but Ran's mental pleading for him not to interfere calmed him somewhat. He knew that his friend was being sexually assaulted almost everyday... and it was too much for him to take. He wanted to kill the casino owner, but as usual, Ran pleaded with him, told him that he shouldn't interfere with his fight, saying that it was the last show of his dignity... and his family would have been, even if in a minuscule amount, proud of him, standing up for himself. 

            He knew that Crawford had Ran playing cards with him every week. The stakes were high. Ran gets his freedom if he wins... and if Crawford had much luck, Ran would stay with him... at his beck and call. The fourth game had just ended yesterday... and Ran was once again, the owner's personal property. The subtle insults hurled by the American yesterday were too devastating that Ran had finally broken down in the private gaming room of the Crawford Mansion... in front of Crawford himself, no less. 

            It was the last straw for Schuldig... so he came.

            He wanted to see the effect everything had on Ran. 

            And if the boy's skin turned a severe black and blue from too much abuse, hell, even if Ran pleaded with him not to interfere, he's getting him away from there. He will kidnap him, if worse comes to worst.

            He held on more tightly. He knew Ran might suffocate from the way he was hugging him, but from the clinging arms around his body, he knew that at the moment, he was his lifeline... his momentary source of strength he needed much of from what he goes through everyday.

            "Ran..." He murmured almost lovingly, his lips buried under the fiery glory of the smaller boy's hair. He closed his eyes, letting the scent of wild cherries assault his senses. "Ran... stop crying..." He was never good at comforting though, and with little awkwardness, he muttered: "Stop crying... you're saturating my shirt... I bought it only yesterday, you know..."

            He relaxed a bit when he heard a sudden soft snort of laughter from the younger boy. "God forbid, I can't afford to buy you another one." Came the muffled reply. 

            Tears escaped as Schuldig closed his eyes. 

            _You are still Fujimiya Ran..._

* * *

            Nagi did not know what to do.

            He was standing there, virtually forgotten as Ran and the newcomer exchanged really sappy looks and then went on to an equally sappy embrace. He did not know what was happening. _Why are they like that? I mean, it's not as if they're forbidden to see each other all anytime... Ran-san's not exactly a prisoner in here... and I didn't know he knew someone from this area... I distinctly heard him say he was new to this place back when Ken-kun asked him if he had been in this city before..._

He regarded the painfully emotional scene before him with wonder. _Was he... lying?_

That may be it, but Nagi was not exactly convinced. 

            Maybe he should ask Farfarello about it... that guy knows everything going on around him.

            He went to the backroom then, trying to make the least noise possible. As much as he was perplexed, he did not want his new friend to feel uncomfortable... now that he and the other guy were such in an emotional moment.

* * *

            "He WHAT?"

            Omi winced as his older brother screamed in the greenhouse. The cry echoed, doubling the little effect it might have had on him. He gazed at the shocked features he knew so well, trying to delve deeper into the surface... trying to decipher whatever emotion was there. He seemed to out of it... so afraid... so elated... and so defeated... all at the same time. 

            Frankly, it scared him, seeing oniisan this way. "He went to the casino to see Ran-kun... that's what he told me, Youji-niichan..." He said softly, trying to gauge the other's condition. He knew he shouldn't have answered his question... he knew he should have convinced Schuldig to tell his brother first before going with his plan... after all, Youji wanted to see Ran too.

            Youji was trying to control the feelings roiling inside his heart. He was happy that Schuldig went to check Ran; to make sure he was okay as the former told him the latter was... but then his soul seemed shucked into bite-size pieces. Schuldig went to see Ran _ALONE_... Like he didn't want him to be his company anymore... that he needed to see Ran without a third wheel. 

            It was almost too painful to bear.

            _But what can I do? That's what he wants after all... _He thought forlornly, the tight grip he had on the watering can loosening as piercing pain engulfed him. _He wants to see Ran alone... I'll just be a hindrance to his plans... _He sighed and shook his head as if to clear it. It was only when he heard someone clearing his throat when he realized that Omi was still beside him, looking at him, trying to make out by himself how the revelation was affecting him. He hid everything quickly, right behind the mask he had been valiantly putting forth that it seemed like it was second skin. 

            He smiled brightly... as if being surprised beyond usual was an everyday occurrence.

            "That's good." He quipped quite happily.

            "You're not upset over it? I mean... you hadn't been informed of it first..." Omi asked falteringly.

            He beamed down at him and with his free hand, ruffled the blond locks. 

            "It's fine." He lied through his teeth; deliberately ignoring what he perceived was another of his frequent attacks... trying to stay upright until he got to his room in a couple of minutes. "I'll get my chance to visit Ran... soon, I hope." 

            With one last parting grin, he set down the can and tried his best to walk out straight. 

            The pain was increasing in intensity. His heart was not cooperating with his mind again. With a sudden burst of energy he didn't know where he got, he dashed straight to the main house, up the stairs and into the safety of his room. 

            But he never got to close his door.

            He slumped down the floor in pain... hands clutching his chest, as if wanting to tear everything out...

            And then his world darkened...

            He could hear someone crying out his name in complete terror...

            But he passed it off as another of his attack's effects. 

            And then everything was without color... his world was totally black. 

* * *

            Crawford gripped the second floor railing.

            He wanted to break them apart... but he couldn't... somehow, he felt that he owed Ran that much. After all, the deal did not involve his friends having the initiative to see him. He almost wished he had given that as one of the conditions a month ago.

            He stared at them, guilt spreading throughout his body... and something else... guilt and something else. 

            He closed his eyes, trying to erase that deep embrace of someone seemingly dear. 

            Crawford had been successful all his life, but there was one thing that he wanted, which he never had the chance to have whatever it was he tried to do to get it...

            He had just seen it.

            The foreigner who had held Ran was feeling it... obviously more than platonic in fact... but Ran did not share that kind – his was definitely a fraternal kind... 

            It was love.

            His father never gave him that. For the deceased man, he was property... one which has the biggest output. His mother moved away. She didn't like him... after all, he was a mistake... a product of a couple of nights' stand. Nagi's adoration was completely some sort of God-worship... the others, his employees... they all thought of him as someone who will provide them the means to acquire enough food to feed themselves and their respective families.

            He was nothing more to anyone.

            The tableau finally broke apart – that he realized as he, once again, resumed gazing at the two. The newcomer whispered something, which he assumed to be funny... and to his surprise, Ran laughed.

            The laughter was heavenly in Crawford's ears. He had never heard it this carefree... before, it was too controlled... too... fake. But now, hearing it, he knew he would never tire of it. He wanted to hear it everyday... filled with happiness and none of the darkness that had seeped into the uneven pitch when Ran was with his other employees. 

            He wanted to be the one who would make him laugh this way.

            He wanted Ran to see him for what he was, not as the person who destroyed his life with a simple Blackjack hand.

            _But what can I do now? _He thought hopelessly. _How can he see me other than a bastard when I hit him the moment he irritates me at night? When he acts so virginal all the time? I attacked him so violently when he fights back... I leave discolored marks on his pale body after having... sex. I... _

Golden brown eyes softened at the momentary happiness he was witnessing.

            _What can I do now?_

  
* * *

            **_Hiya! This is the lovable Schu-Schu! I can't take your call right now, so just try and ring me up later – I have too much important stuff to do other than chat with you, so just leave a message after the annoying beep. Ja!_**

Omi shrieked in complete frustration as he was answered by Schuldig's active voicemail again for the thirteenth time. He cancelled the call and threw his cell phone against the wall, satisfaction coursing through his body as the casing broke, the LCD shattering so loudly that he knew his Persian cat outside could hear it and cower under the picnic table again. 

            He sighed, shaking his head, then banging it on the edge of his study table. 

            He had an ambulance come over and bring Youji to the hospital a couple of hours ago. They said he was stable now, but had yet to be woken up. Youji's doctor took pity on him and made him go home against his will, and once he got in, he dashed to his room and picked up his mobile phone, trying to reach Schuldig to tell him what had happened.

            He couldn't reach him.

            The guy had also broken the telepathic link for this day. He said he wanted to talk to Ran without someone criticizing his every word in his head. 

            Omi did not know what to do.

            If Youji doesn't wake up soon...

            Tears dripped down helpless azure eyes.

            _Kami-sama... please... help..._

* * *

A/N: I LIVE! Gyehehe... I finally updated this fic. Whew! I finally got the idea for the story straight... thanks to your reviews! Anyway, I think I will update this fic more now... THINK being the keyword. Heh-heh. Anyway, I'll be waiting for your reviews! Tell me what you think – and what you want more to happen in this fic... I might change my mind about the flow of the story... *GRIN*  Reviews, reviews!

            


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